On Friendships

Old friends move on
new friends will come along
endless is the cycle life
far too short a life for strife.
Need and want are separate
all too often mixed up
bigger picture goes unseen
we just stare at computer screen.
Old friends will all move on
new friends hopefully come along.

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A Good-bye of Sorts

I need you out of my life, I’m afraid.
I can’t live with the ever-present self-doubt and pain.
And the physical yearning, thick as black smoke,
that whirls up inside me every time we chat or talk.

I’m trying so hard to re-boot my heart,
my silly old heart, set to fail from the start,
and the extra beats it makes when we speak
sets that whole process back by several weeks!

Believe me, I know just how silly I am
and I beat myself up hard for getting hooked on a man!
It’s not as if I didn’t know, right from the start,
that I’m far too big to fit your tiny heart.

We can blame timing, Mother Nature or fate,
but we also both know that real life doesn’t wait!
And I’m tired of waiting on the side-lines now,
I need to be happy and find peace somehow!

There is far too much hurt between the two of us!
Far too many false starts and too much stupid fuss!
You’ve probably already managed to move on
but then, when it came to ‘us’ you were always long gone!

I need to catch up now and to overtake
and at some point the pretense ease I show won’t be fake.
Perhaps one day, when all of this is in the past
we can have some kind of friendship that might really last?

But that isn’t now, it cannot be
when every time I think of you I only see
the wrongs you did, as did I, though still I miss your touch
and we can’t forge a friendship when my thoughts are such!

I know that I will miss you, I already do
but we aren’t meant to be, so you have to go!
I guess the thing that really hurts me most of all
was that you never fell for my siren’s call.

Whenever I think of you, as I too often do
the knowledge that you chose not to, is what makes me blue.
Instead I find myself in a familiar seat
where I know the only thing you’ll miss is my female heat.

6 September 2011

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Life in the End (2005)

Hopeless dreams
Are what they are
I can’t stop my heart from breaking

Painless longing
Is what it means
I can’t stop my heart from aching

Being your friend means the world to me
But I can clearly see all the things we could be
Is it any wonder I can’t tell you
At all strange how much I want you
And life just wouldn’t be life in the end
If feeling this way I could still be your friend.

I just don’t know what the hell to do
I can’t live like this, neither with nor without you
Having you so close and yet out of reach
But you’re not my man, and you never will be
And life just wouldn’t be life in the end
If feeling this way I could still be your friend.

I’m trying so hard to say good-bye
To the safety of having you near me.
The comfort of knowing you’re always there
The odd facts of life that we two have shared
But it just has to end, I can’t take this no more
And I really can’t stand hearing more about that whore!

No, I know she’s OK, never mind me
It’s really just weird how you can feel free
When you must also know just what we have
How can you not dream, it just makes me mad!
But life just wouldn’t be life in the end
If feeling this way I could still be your friend.

I know it’s my fault, I have no one to blame
I shouldn’t feel bitter, I should feel ashamed
I’m loosing the best friendship I’ve ever had
All because my heart makes choices that are bad.
But life just wouldn’t be life in the end
If feeling this way you could still be my friend.

2005

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