I have focused all my hopes, all my dreams and all my longings
on surviving until Christmas time.
I have scrimped, I’ve cut corners, I have really, really tried!
Everything will be so good if until Christmas I survive!
For two long weeks of sunshine with a white beach and blue sky
I have kept myself alive this year and now those weeks are nigh.
And I am worried, really worried that because of some unknown
factor I won’t get there and if I do, I’m on my own!
Two whole weeks without companions, two whole weeks all by myself.
Two whole weeks in foreign country, oh dear Lord, I need some help!
I keep going back in time, to the year I was fourteen
and on my own, for the first time, in English countryside so green.
That first morning, how I sat there, paralyzed, staring at the door!
How I felt I couldn’t leave my room, where I arrived the night before.
OK, so say I get there, to Mexico, and even venture out!
What if all my dreams go sour and nothing there feels right?
Oh, I am a fool, for all those dreams can evaporate like steam
over morning’s dew-clad grass and then, what does that leave?
I am going on a journey, to far off foreign lands,
traveling halfway around the globe to see that beach with pristine sand.
In my head I have a picture of just how that Paradise looks
and in a few weeks I might find out it’s nothing like the books!
So I take a really deep, deep breath and try to calm myself.
It may not turn out just how I want but the dream, there on that shelf
the one that’s kept me alive this year, my very own Fool’s Paradise
it is coming ever closer, with each moment and that’s nice!
There is nothing that can keep me now from trying to reach that dream
and even it’s a Fools Paradise, I suppose that fool is me.
This, slightly panicky, piece was inspired by One Single Impression prompt 196: A Fool’s Paradise and my upcoming trip of a life-time for Christmas and New Years.