Four silky green ribbons, one for each bedpost,
lie cut up and discarded, and symbolise how most
of my life is still in tatters, disfigured and confused.
How I keep on feeling lonely, just a plaything, something used.
I know I shouldn’t feel like this, that’s not how it was meant.
But sometimes I just really think that my whole life’s been spent
in search of something – out of reach – just out-of-bounds for me,
and four green silky ribbons are just the one thing I can see.
Those four green silky ribbons, although cut up and disused,
still mean the whole wide world to me, because I WASN’T used!
I tied you up with silk in green and rode you, just for me
and those green ribbons represent more of who I ought to be!
So something green and silky can be both – good and bad!
They make me smile with pride and lust, but they also make me sad.
Glad because I had you – in my power, just for me!
Proud since that evening made me still want to believe!
A source of joy and longing, of wanting and of lust,
not just for someone else – for me! – and that I only must
believe in my own powers, my appeal and my great smile.
That my enjoyment also counts, if only for a while.
So please don’t take this badly, if you ever choose to read.
Those four green silky ribbons were still something that I need!
But with the memory of my high also lingers, as it must,
the thought that I’ve missed something good, something more than erotic lust.
It still can bring a tear to my eyes, the thought of that thing out-of-bounds.
And though I know it’s not with you, I’d say I still have grounds
to tell you of the thoughts I have when I look at what is around
my bedposts, all cut up and limp, four silky green ribbons are bound.